Simple Kids » parenting

Spin the Bottle: A Fun Family Conversation Starter

Mariah — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:01:37 +0000

The following is by contributor Mariah Bruehl of Playful Learning.

How was your day at school? How many of us have asked this question to our children and received an ambiguous and uninformative response?

As parents we have an innate desire to connect with and understand our children, yet it can often seem difficult to come up with the right question at the right time.

The bottom line is sometimes we need a little help.

Family Conversation Starters

I have found that when you turn it into a game, children are often more willing to open up and take the time to ponder and thoughtfully answer the questions at hand. While there are a lot of innovative ways to bring about meaningful conversations, we recently tried a new (family friendly) take on the old classic game of spin the bottle.

Start out by preparing some questions and prompts. Try to incorporate some of the concepts you have been exploring as a family. Some hot topics in our household lately have been related to being courageous, standing up for friends, and expressing gratitude. Over time the conversation starters can evolve and correspond with the various social and emotional issues that come up during the course of our daily lives.

It is helpful to use these light-hearted family times to explore the bigger concepts and issues that may be harder to discuss when emotions are running high. That little bit of distance can create a safe (neutral) environment where children feel comfortable talking about the things that matter most to them.

Here are some of the conversation catalysts we used…

Share a time in your life when you have been courageous.

Share a time when you overcame a fear.

Share a time when you helped someone.

Share a time when you witnessed someone in your family help another person.

What is something special about you?

What is something special about another person in this group?

Name three things that you are grateful for.

If you could make three wishes, what would they be?

What is one thing you could do to make the world a better place?

Talk about a time that you have stood up for yourself.

Talk about a time that you have stood up for someone else.

Print out the prompts that you created and put them in a bag or basket. There is something thrilling about choosing an unknown question that children get very excited about. Take turns spinning the bottle. Whoever the bottle points to is the person who chooses a piece of paper and responds.

It helps to keep in mind that these are just conversation starters. Make the most of each person’s turn by asking clarifying questions and sharing your own similar experiences. You never know what direction the conversation will take.

Children long to be listened to and the most valuable gift parents can give them is undivided attention, so go with the flow and enjoy!

More inspiration for family conversations…

How do you get the conversation going with your kids?

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Spin the Bottle: A Fun Family Conversation Starter is a post from Simple Kids

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Family Traditions: Create a Signature Family Recipe (plus our secret Purple Flurple Smoothie recipe)

Kara — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 05:01:18 +0000

The following post is by editor Kara Fleck.

In 2012 one of the things I want to do with this space is to share more of my family’s traditions with you. I thought I would start with a very simple, but fun tradition: creating signature family recipes.

My whole family loves to play with our food! We spend quite a bit of time together in the kitchen, creating recipes, cooking together, and enjoying eating our experiments. From a young age, we involve our kids in the food preparation for the family, and we do our best to made it a fun experience.

We’ve developed a family tradition over the years of putting a signature spin on certain dishes, really making them our own according to our personal tastes and preferences.

Because you are so special to me, dear readers, and I’ve come to think of you like family, I am going to share with you our family’s top secret Purple Flurple recipe. What in the world is a Purple Flurple, you ask? A taste sensation!

Read on and see …

Our Signature Smoothie: the Purple Flurple

One of our favorite signature Fleck family recipes is a smoothie, the Purple Flurple (because is it purple and it was made by us, the Flecks. Get it? The Purple Flurple!)

This recipe is special because it contains everyone’s favorite fruits and it is my three year old’s favorite color. It is also super easy to make and doesn’t involve any tricky ingredients, exact measurements, or complex preparation.

To make a Purple Flurple Smoothie you need:

a handful of blueberries (frozen)
a handful of raspberries (frozen)
a banana or two
about a cup of orange juice
two or three heaping spoonfuls of yogurt

Whirl it all together in a blender, pour into enough glasses to share with everyone, and enjoy! Sometimes we make Purple Flurple popsicles by freezing the mix in popsicle molds.

Put Your Own Spin on It

Smoothies are just the beginning. What about a family signature pizza, sandwich, cookie, or homemade ice cream flavor?

Get in the kitchen, experiment, and have fun creating kitchen concoctions together. Be sure to give them a name, too so that future generations will know their culinary heritage and the family tradition, and silliness, can be passed on.

Not taking things too seriously is a must!

Your family signature dish doesn’t have to be a recipe you’ve created from scratch. It can be something special about the presentation or an unexpected something extra that makes it your family’s personal signature dish. Grandpa Mike’s giant pancakes and Great-Grandma Jean’s grilled cheese with jam are a few that come to mind from our family.

The important thing is to have fun, play with your food, and enjoy your meals together!

Does your family have any signature recipes? Do you and your kids have an equivalent of the Purple Flurple? How do you play with your food? I’d love to hear about it!

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Family Traditions: Create a Signature Family Recipe (plus our secret Purple Flurple Smoothie recipe) is a post from Simple Kids

Let’s Talk: Daylight Savings Time and Your Child’s Sleep Schedule

Kara — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 00:56:30 +0000

The following post is by editor Kara Fleck.

Daylight Savings Time will soon be upon us. This Saturday evening, before we go to bed, we’ll be changing our clocks as we “fall back” an hour.

However, what seems simple – just an hour’s difference – can really wreck havoc on the sleep schedules of adults and kids alike.

Spring Forward, Fall Back … to Sleep?

Our kids generally do fairly well with the time change, and it is usually the “Spring Forward” that gets us as it becomes difficult to convince little ones to sleep while the “sun is still awake, mama.” Usually after a night or two, things get back to normal as far as our children and bedtime goes.

But I know that there are families out there whose little ones have quite a time adjusting whether it is the Spring or the Autumn time change. Daylight Savings Time can be a major disruption for some kids.

Let’s Talk

I would love to hear from you today: how do your little ones handle the time change?

Do you have any tips to share with other Simple Kids readers to make the transition easier, especially on a child’s sleep schedule?

And, just for the record, I know that an infant’s sleeping pattern is another matter entirely, even under normal circumstances, but I couldn’t resist putting this picture of baby Mia up at the top of this post.

The comments are open. Let’s talk about Daylight Savings Time and your child’s sleep schedule.

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Let’s Talk: Daylight Savings Time and Your Child’s Sleep Schedule is a post from Simple Kids

Reader Question: Gentle Ways to End Toddler Pacifier Use

Kara — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 04:01:54 +0000

The following was written by editor Kara Fleck.

Recently I received a question from a reader looking for some help.

Maria asks, “My 3yo uses a pacifier at nap and nighttime, and occasionally when she’s feeling extra-vulnerable. It never comes downstairs from the bedroom, though. For dental reasons, she needs to stop. I want to respect her ability to come to this in her own time and way, but I fear she will not do so on her own.

I am looking for readers to share personal experiences of how they helped older toddlers stop pacifier use. Thanks.”

My Suggestion: Storytelling

First, it should be said that I don’t have much personal experience with toddlers and pacifiers. Of my four kids, those who have used a pacifier stopped at a fairly young age and with little need for transition time.

However, I do have a bit of experience with easing young children through transitions, so I can share that one thing that works for us is using storytelling to help ease the change.

For example, when my son was having a difficult time letting me leave him and we knew we had to prepare him for the time I would be away when his sister was born, my husband and I would tell him the story of a baby emperor penguin whose father watched over him until his mother returned. We checked out books from the library about emperor penguins and we gave him a small penguin doll.

The penguin became a symbol for Max and I truly believe helped him to feel comfortable letting his father and his grandparents care for him when I was having the baby. Penguins are still important to him to this day.

Perhaps you could create a special story for your child, reflecting the changes that need to come as they end their pacifier use that shows a reassuring resolution? It wouldn’t have to be elaborate, just a simple story illustrating the change that needs to happen in a gentle way.

Maybe something similar to contributor Robin Zipporah’s story about the Biting Bedbugs and a chewing habit could be adapted for a pacifier?

Good luck, Maria! I hope that you and your child can find a good, gentle solution for easing through this transition.

Your Advice

As I said, this isn’t an area where I have a lot of experience. However, I imagine that some of you Simple Kids readers do.

What about you? Do you have any experience with toddlers and pacifier use? Can you suggest a gentle way for Maria to help her toddler let go of the pacifier?

I’d really appreciate your advice about toddlers and ending pacifier use in the comments on this post, and I’m sure other readers in this situation would, too. Thanks!

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Reader Question: Gentle Ways to End Toddler Pacifier Use is a post from Simple Kids

October is Fire Safety Month

Kara — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 04:01:11 +0000

The following post was written by editor Kara Fleck.

October is National Fire Safety Month. This is the perfect time to start getting into the habit of a monthly home fire drill or to polish up your existing procedure, if your family already has one in place.

On a regular basis, the kids and I talk about fire safety, discussing what to do in a fire, and we have been doing an at-home fire drill every month. Still, it has been very eye-opening to me just how much they forget from month to month when we do our fire drills. That tells me how important it is that we keep this habit.

This month, we’re brushing up on fire safety and I’m using some resources from around the web to help us prepare.

Fire Drill

These will probably vary for each family, depending on the ages of your children, but just to give you some ideas and get the conversations started, here are my goals for our home fire drills:

To review our two different escape routes
To stress that we need to get out and then stay out!
Learning why we need to crawl low under smoke, and then practicing our crawling
Checking doors for heat before opening them
Assigning a meeting place (our neighbor’s drive way across the street)
Calling 9-1-1 after you are out of the house
Setting off the smoke alarm so we can hear what it sounds like
Checking the batteries in our smoke detectors
Practicing our fire drill a few times – not just talking about it, but actually doing it

Fire Safety

Here are a few things I hope to incorporate in our fire safety talks:

The concept of stop-drop-roll
The special clothes that firefighters wear (which might seem scary to some children)
Fire extinguishers and smoke detectors
NEVER playing with matches or lighters

Fire Safety Resources for Kids

Sparky the Fire Dog website
McGruff “Be Fire Safe” game
Fire Safety Coloring Pages
Kindergarten Fire Safety Theme Week from Confessions of a Homeschooler

Fire safety certainly falls under the category of lessons that I hope my children never have to actually put into practice.

My hope is that discussing fire safety and initiating regular at-home fire drills will prepare my family, should such an emergency ever occur. Be safe, friends!

This post originally appeared in October 2010 and has been updated for October 2011.

Do you do monthly home fire drills with your kids? What else should I include in our fire safety talks?

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October is Fire Safety Month is a post from Simple Kids

Staying Connected with Far Away Family

Catherine — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 04:01:43 +0000

The following post is by contributor Catherine Way.

I live in Darwin in North Australia. My in-laws live around the corner from us. My parents live in Canberra, in the south of Australia. My sister lives in Singapore. My sister- and brother-in-law live in California, USA. In today’s society, this is a common arrangement. Many people live far away from their extended family.

How can you stay in touch when your family is spread around the country or around the world? Does this mean that your children miss out on important connections with family?

There are plenty of ways to stay connected with far away family. And as an added bonus, while you connect with family around the world, your children have an authentic reason to learn about geography and cultural differences.

Sign up for Skype

Skype is a free service that lets you message and video chat with other people on Skype. Even my most tech-phobic relatives love Skype once they have it set up and working on their computer. And these days you can also have Skype on your mobile phone. Skype also allows you make cheaper international phone calls to non-Skype users.

With Skype you can video chat and instantly show off your child’s new haircut or their latest artwork. It lets relatives be nearly ‘in the room’ for birthday or holiday celebrations. My family love to call relatives on their birthday and sing ‘Happy Birthday’ on Skype.

Try other types of social media

Video calling through Skype is a fantastic way to chat with relatives, but I am also in the habit of using Facebook on my phone to keep up to date with my sister and sister-in-law. By checking Facebook regularly, I can have almost real-time updates about the bits and pieces that are important in their lives right now.

Through Facebook I hear that my sister has gone to Vietnam for a couple of days for work, or that my sister-in-law is in the middle of a long power outage. And I can see photos of some of these events very quickly too.

Start a blog

I first started blogging as a way to share family photos and stories with family and friends without having to send ten different emails. It also lets you show lots of different photos without having to worry about attachments and file sizes. Through my personal blog, family and friends know what we are interested in at the moment and can leave comments.

Send gifts that promote connection

If my niece and nephew lived around the corner, I would probably give them the usual toys for their birthdays and other occasions. But since my niece and nephew are on the other side of the world, I have the chance to send some unique gifts that represent the Australian environment and culture.

For example, I give books by Australian authors, Australian music or Australian animal figurines. There are lots more possibilities – a boomerang, maybe – as my niece and nephew get older. These gifts are sure to make my niece and nephew think of me and my family when they use them and they help my niece and nephew to learn about our family and life in Australia.

And now that my children are old enough to participate in gift giving, we often hand-make unique gifts for family, like the embroidered children’s handprints for my mum or artwork painted by the children on canvas. This brings a little bit of us into relative’s homes. At the moment, we are writing and illustrating a book of our family’s favourite songs and nursery rhymes to send to my niece and nephew.

Find ways to bring far away relatives into your home

You could invite them to come and stay, but that is not always financially possible. However, you can have their photographs on your bookshelves or in an accessible photo album.

You can tell your children about these relatives by sharing your memories often. When you make biscuits, talk about how you always used to bake biscuits with your mum when you were growing up. When your children fight, tell them about the time you tricked your sister.

Put up a map in your home and mark where important family and friends live. Have theme dinners or collect mementos from those places to help your children understand what it is like where their relatives live.

Keep up with the interests of your far flung relations. For example, my brother-in-law follows baseball. He gave my sons baseball gloves, a bat and a ball. And even though baseball is not a popular sport in Australia, they love to play baseball and sometimes we try and watch a game on TV.

When my son’s are old enough I hope they will want to go on an adventure and stay with their overseas aunties. The effort that I put into connecting with family now enriches my life and my children’s lives now and into the future.

How do you connect with distant family?

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Staying Connected with Far Away Family is a post from Simple Kids

A Personal Challenge: Savor Autumn

Kara — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 04:01:44 +0000

The following is by editor Kara Fleck. It originally appeared October 2010. I’d love to know: what are your personal challenges this Autumn? How will you slow down and savor the season?

Over the summer I gave myself a personal challenge: to be like the sun. Slowing down the pace changed the rest of our season, for the better. I want to carry that feeling of really savoring the current season into this Autumn.

My kids are each at these wonderful ages right now. Their young personalities just sparkle. I want to enjoy them and have fun together this season. I want to be silly together, embrace the small moments, and enjoy these children for who they are, right now, at ages two, four, and eight.

Every year, each new age brings so many changes. I cannot actually slow down time, but I can alter my priorities a bit so that I’m more present in the current moment.

Here are the things I want to do and my personal challenges for this Autumn:

Be Present

Last weekend we went apple picking and I have a small confession to make: the kids had a wonderful time, but I didn’t really enjoy it.

It isn’t that I disliked going. The problem was that I was so involved with looking at everything through the lens of the camera and trying to capture the moments and making memories for the kids that I forgot to join in and live the memories.

We’re going back to the orchard soon and I need to right my wrong of last weekend: I’m handing the camera over and I’m going to be present in the moment and worry less about preserving it.

I want to feel the sun on my face, smell the apple trees, laugh with my kids, and just be with my family.

Plan Small

The other thing I seem to need a gentle reminder about lately is that not all memories have to come from a big event or require fancy planning. The small things are pretty wonderful, too.

My friend Eileen suggests gathering the family before bedtime some evening and heading outdoors (yes, in your pajamas) with some cocoa and blankets to gaze at the stars in the Autumn sky.

Sounds lovely to me.

Embrace Imperfection

The Autumn leaves on our Nature Table? They don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. Our Fall crafts don’t have to turn out exactly like the pictures in the directions to be fun.

And, what better opportunity to embrace imperfection than pumpkin carving? Pumpkin carving is a little messy, a little unpredictable, and lots of fun!

I keep cutting out images of perfectly stenciled and carved jack’o'lanterns and adding them to my Halloween planner and yes, they are beautiful. But you know what? My family’s goofy grinning pumpkins with their lop-sided smiles and “lids” that never quite fit back on top are one of a kind.

I love those crazy pumpkins for all of their imperfections and they deserve a place of honor on our front porch.

Join in the Fun

Speaking of Halloween, I have decided that this year I’m not going to let the kids have all the fun: I am going to dress up, too.

I love costumes and being silly and since it doesn’t look like that long-awaited costume ball invitation is going to show up in my mailbox anytime soon, why not indulge in the merriment this Halloween? My kids would love it if their mama dressed up, too.

I need to worry a little less what the neighbors will think if I answer the door to the trick’or’treaters as The Cat in the Hat (or maybe Mary Poppins?) and just join in the fun.

Be Thankful

I have also set a personal challenge for myself of being actively thankful this season. I have joined in with Ann Voskamp’s Gratitude Community and have been counting my blessings, with the goal being to count to one thousand (and beyond).

Some trivial things in life have been getting me down lately – things that don’t deserve my focus or my worry. I’ve been distracted by little things and not looking at the big picture. It is time to acknowledge the thousands of ways I am blessed, large and small, and focus on the joy!

Have you been distracted? Do you need to change gears and slow down? How will you and your kids savor this season? What personal goals do you have?

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A Personal Challenge: Savor Autumn is a post from Simple Kids

The Simple Life (and a giveaway, too!)

Kara — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 13:00:35 +0000

The following is a guest post by Donna Ashton of The Parenting Studio. Be sure to read to the end for a special giveaway. This giveaway is now closed and the winner will be announced soon. Thank you!

In this hustle bustle world of instant everything, is there any wonder we are craving a simpler, more mindful flow to our days? The noise of life, crazy schedules, always being “connected” can make one wish to live in a little house on the prairie.

I had this thought one day after watching a movie: how nice would it be to have a little cottage with no electricity? To live by the rhythms of the sun, immerse myself in chores like churning butter and kneading bread. Then, my sister texted me and I was brought back to the 21st century.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t balance our hectic lives in a more simplistic way. Maybe we get the best of both worlds. We have a choice to unplug and enjoy the tasks of our grandmothers.

How do we do this? Here are a few ideas…

Rhythm

By creating a strong rhythm, we support this balanced lifestyle with a structure that give us freedom.

Here’s what I mean: if each day you have no plan or flow of what happens in the morning, afternoon or bedtime then you end up making it up as you go. This creates the “trying to catch-up and be 1-step ahead of your children” syndrome who are begging you “What’s for lunch? What are we doing today?”

You end up thinking up something quickly and pretending you have it all together. Or maybe you just put it back on them, “What would you like to do?” That can also be scary.

With a gentle rhythm in place, there are less decisions you need to make because it is already decided – morning chores, breakfast, walk and then playtime. Within the structure is plenty of opportunities to sprinkle in the fun stuff. And now you have more time to plan these fun activities!

Scheduling

This realm goes hand-in-hand with rhythm but is about balancing this 21st century with your butter churning. There are things you will have go do and your children will want to do. Yoga, book club, carpool, soccer, dance, gymnastics, music lessons… this is in addition to normal errands, library, and shopping.

Our lives have become a quest to enrich our children’s lives and let them try every possible option. I invite you to think of your child’s life as an unfolding process.

The keys to balanced scheduling are to decide if it is really necessary. If your activity gets canceled and you are cheering, then it may be time to drop it.

Environment

If the thought of decluttering your home is making you exhausted, you may have some work to do! I have a hard time going through my day while eyeing up all the piles and clutter I see. It is an energy drain on us and it is overwhelming to our children.

Did you know that too much stuff causes children to see our world in a shallow way? They never develop the capacity for deep play and getting steeped in their environment if they flit from toy to toy.

Each time I clear out the toys and set out just a few open-ended items, my girls will race over and start creating a story with their imaginations.

Slowing down and embracing this conscious living is simple, but can take a bit of rearranging within our current lifestyles.

As a homeschooling mom and entrepreneur, I know how important it is to keep things as simple as possible. When I read Kim Payne’s book Simplicity Parenting, I knew I had found something truly unique. My passion for this work led me to become a certified Simplicity Parenting group leader so I can guide others to live the Simple Life.

Free Audio

You can listen to the free audio ‘Why Simplify? How to turn your chaos into calm with Simplicity Parenting”

The Giveaway

Donna is generously offering one Simple Kids reader a total scholarship to the Fall series, Simplify This Fall which begins on September 15th. *

*note: the winner would be responsible for the course materials at a cost of approximately $25.

To Enter

to enter, simply leave a comment on this post

~~This giveaway will be open until midnight EST Friday, September 9th.~~ I will announce the winner on Saturday, September 10th. Good luck! This giveaway is now closed and the winner will be announced soon. Thank you!

Discount Code

Donna is offering all Simple Kids readers a discount code for Simplify This Fall. Use the code SIMPLEKIDS to get $30 off your registration to the course. If you register for the course and are chosen as the scholarship winner, Donna will reimburse you.

Donna Ashton has devoted over 5 years to learning Waldorf Education and homeschooling her twin girls. She brings her experience with raising her 8½ yr olds in a mindful way to help struggling homeschoolers and parents trying to balance their daily rhythm and get clarity in homeschooling.
In 2009, she created The Waldorf Connection to bring the experts directly to online homeschoolers. She is now a certified Simplicity Parenting Group Leader so she may bring this amazing wisdom to her families and help them simplify and balance their homes and lifestyles.
You can learn more about Donna and her programs, workshops, and products at The Waldorf Connection and The Parenting Studio.

CURRENT SPONSORS:

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The Simple Life (and a giveaway, too!) is a post from Simple Kids

I’m Back and a Few Thank You’s

Kara — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 04:01:22 +0000

The following is by Simple Kids editor Kara Fleck.

Hello friends! While I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of life with baby Mia these early weeks, I have to say that it is nice to slowly be getting back to some normal activities, including blogging. I have missed you guys!

Thank You

Thank you to all of you who have sent sweet notes via email, in the comments here or at my personal blog Rockin’ Granola, and on facebook and twitter. I haven’t had the time to reply to them all, but I have read them all and my family and I appreciate your kindness.

Many of you asked how the older kids are doing. Jillian, Max, and Lucy are adjusting well to having a new baby. There are some days I think that perhaps they have adjusted even quicker than Christopher and I have.

I still have some days where I can’t believe that I am the mother of four children and then there are days when it seems that I can’t remember what life was like before Mia came along.

Jillian and Mia, just a few days old

It is pretty wonderful, but I will admit that I have to keep reminding myself to think about what is essential and to concentrate on accomplishing ONLY that. As long as the basics get done, we’re doing okay. When I try to do too much, too soon things get a little rocky. (You’d think that by four kids I’d have that lesson down, wouldn’t you?)

In Good Hands

I want to say an extra special thank you to the Simple Kids contributors and to the guest posters who filled in for me so that I could take this past month to spend with my family.

Simple Kids means a lot to me and it was reassuring to know that the blog was in good hands. I was really happy to be able to share their words with you.

Fun, Frugal Birthdays by Elise Adams
Nature in Art by Sally Faulkner
Special Parenting: Lessons on Perfection by Deanna Smith
The Wisdom of Wonder by Lisa Boisvert MacKenzie

What’s Ahead

I’m glad to be getting back to blogging on a regular basis.

This fall you can look forward to posts about:

continuing the Ages and Stages series
some fun giveaways
Autumn inspirations
what I’ve been reading
what I’ve been creating

The contributors have some pretty fun posts coming up as well. Autumn is one of my favorite times of year and I’m really looking forward to this season on Simple Kids.

I’m certainly not up to full speed yet, and life right now very much revolves around the baby (as I think it should), but peeking out into the world from time to time via this blog and getting to share with all of you is a part of my routine I’m excited to be picking up again.

It’s good to be back, friends.

CURRENT SPONSORS:

Sparkle Stories - audio stories for children and families.
E-mealz - mealtime makeover.
Playful Learning - develop your child's sense of joy and wonder.
Organizing Life as Mom - inspiration and planning pages.

I’m Back and a Few Thank You’s is a post from Simple Kids

Slowing Down: Taking the Time to Make Some Time

Kara — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 04:01:22 +0000

My family and I are enjoying our Labor Day weekend. I’ll be back from my “baby mooning” this week and am really looking forward to it. I’ve missed you guys! In the meantime, here is a post from the archives – a gentle reminder I think we all could use. I know that I certainly can. I noticed that Tsh is thinking along the same lines today over at Simple Mom, too. Best Wishes, Kara

There are only 24 hours in a day and an hour will always be sixty minutes; no more, no less. When we’ve been cramming too much into those hours it shows up in negative ways: children get cranky, routines become rushed, and things just feel tense and wound up too tightly.

What busy parent doesn’t wish for more time in the day?

While I may not be able to actually create an extra hour, I have found that I can give myself the illusion of more time. When life has been hectic, and things are starting to feel rough around the edges, I know that I need to take the time to make some time.

So, how do I create the illusion of more time?

Photo by KevinDooley

With Intention

I remind myself of my purpose: to slow down. Even if it means I have to reschedule plans or cancel them altogether, I make downtime a priority. I take a deep breath, accept that there are more important things at stake than finishing my to-do list, and I make the conscious choice to slow down and savor this time.

I make sure my kids know our intention, too. I might tell my oldest daughter that “we are going to have some quiet together time” and I tell the younger kids that we are going to “use our soft voices and our soft feet” – meaning we’re going to speak quietly and not run or scurry about. My kids also respond well to animal images. I might tell them “we are going to be sleepy bears” or “move slowly like snails.”

Set the Mood

First, I unplug by turning off the television. I usually turn off the radio, too (I leave it on sometimes as soft music playing in the background or if we are listening to an audio book). I don’t run the washing machine, dishwasher, dryer, or other noisy appliances.

If having a lit candle won’t cause stress or a safety concern with young children around, you might choose to light a candle. My mom lights a stick of incense after dinner to signal that the quiet part of the day has begun.

Photo by MichelFilion

Disconnect

I don’t use this time to answer email. I don’t answer the telephone. I don’t even answer the doorbell. This is the time to disconnect from the outside world and focus on the world inside in my home.

Be Like the Sun

If I want time to slow down, I have to slow down. I like to imagine that I am the sun: my young children revolve around me, my little planets. If I am hurrying across the sky, they are hurried. If I move slowly across the sky, they move slowly with me. I have found that, even if they are running around wildly beforehand, if I sit still the children eventually will join me.

Photo by FrAntunes

Do One Thing … Or Nothing

I pick one quiet activity for us to do and only one: reading a book together, having a family art or handwork time, doing a puzzle, or playing a board game. Some families I know have an afternoon Tea Time, providing a small snack and a peaceful break in the day.

Even better than doing one thing, do nothing. Be still. Be an observer. Stare out the window and watch the birds in your backyard. Watch the raindrops slide down the windowpane or count the snowflakes, depending on the season. Sit on the porch swing and watch the clouds roll by.

A Day or An Hour

Once a month we try to make sure we have a weekend on the calendar where nothing is planned so that we don’t have any obligations or travel commitments. We call those “pajama days” and we stay in our pjs all day to ensure that we aren’t tempted to go anywhere. Those quiet days help to slow down the month.

But, more often than not, our slowing down occurs over the course of a few quiet hours scattered across our week.

The hours that seem to zoom by when I’m on the computer, running errands, or busy with household chores are the same length of time, but somehow those quiet, still hours seem to last longer. It may not actually be more time, but it feels like more time.

That illusion is one I will gladly believe in.

Are you always “on the go” with your family? How can you tell when your family is too busy? What strategies do you use to slow down?

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Slowing Down: Taking the Time to Make Some Time is a post from Simple Kids