I’m enjoying a break from blogging as my family settles in to life with our new baby. However, I’m leaving you in the hands of some very talented guest writers. Today, Simple Kids is pleased to welcome Deanna Smith. I think you’ll be very touched by her words, as I was. – Kara
When I was newly pregnant with my daughter, the thoughts filling my head were competitive, fierce and determined.
My spirits were high to not only be the most stellar mother possible, but also to have the most perfect, beautiful, smart daughter ever before seen on this earth.
I had a checklist: she would crawl at 6 months, walk at 9 months, begin the violin at 3, read ridiculously early and just overall be a genius/prodigy. I looked around at all of my friend’s babies and made mental notes so that I could push my child to beat all of their milestones.
You can imagine my surprise and dismay when I discovered that my baby girl had Down syndrome and a number of health problems.
It was quite a big adjustment to stop thinking about the competition aspect of parenting and just wonder if my baby would live.
I learned an important lesson while 20 weeks pregnant that I think would have otherwise taken me years and years of parenting frustration, full of heartache.
Each of our children are unique and perfect. It’s not about who does what first. It’s about finding the personal best and hitting it with the appropriate amount of hard work necessary to achieve the milestone.
My daughter, Addison is now 16 months- and just starting to cruise along furniture. My old self would have been devastated by this seeming deviation from my original plan. The new Deanna? Is thrilled that Addison is working so hard and achieving so much given what she has been through. I cheer on even the tiniest of accomplishments for the wonderful miracle of achievement that it is.
Personal best. Individual developmental rate.
Those aren’t just words.
And this isn’t a competition.
I plan on enjoying my perfect daughter exactly how she is. Struggles? yes. Hardships? yes. Loved almost to a fault? you bet.
Your child doesn’t have to be just like everyone else’s to be perfect. Sometimes the hard things are what makes your uniquely individual child the way they were meant to be.
I’m so thankful for my daughter and the fact that she chose me to be her mom. We make a good team.
Don’t let the haze of competition and need for the “perfect” child cloud your love and appreciation for the child that you were given. Every child will have struggles and hardships, but then again, that is just all part of who they perfectly are.
This mom learned that lesson- the hard way. Now onto the other 999,999 that parenthood has yet to teach me.
Mother to a little girl named Addison blessed with a little something extra, Deanna Smith blogs over at Everything and Nothing from Essex. She discusses issues as far ranging as raising a child with special needs to whatever random issue might cross her path- such as her take on how to get rid of all of those annoying summer flies. Addison is soon to be joined by a little brother which will no doubt add a new dimension to the Everything and Nothing. Recently transitioning from music teacher to stay at home mom, life is never dull as Deanna enjoys mothering one of the most beautiful little girls ever. Turns out an extra chromosome does add extra beauty…as well as an extra dash of personality and mischief.