Comments on: The Squeaky Wheel http://simplekids.net/the-squeaky-wheel/ Uncomplicated parenting in a complex world. Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:44:18 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Joan http://simplekids.net/the-squeaky-wheel/comment-page-1/#comment-322 Joan Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:46:16 +0000 http://simplekids.net/?p=180#comment-322 @Tasha, I don't think any of us will ever be completely silent in the realm of squeaking. Our best hope is to recognize where we most frequently go wrong & try to catch ourselves. You're doing a better job than many. Thanks so much for your honesty. @Tasha, I don’t think any of us will ever be completely silent in the realm of squeaking. Our best hope is to recognize where we most frequently go wrong & try to catch ourselves. You’re doing a better job than many. Thanks so much for your honesty.

]]> By: Tasha http://simplekids.net/the-squeaky-wheel/comment-page-1/#comment-320 Tasha Sun, 08 Mar 2009 21:20:21 +0000 http://simplekids.net/?p=180#comment-320 If I were to be perfectly honest, I would say that my trigger usually has to do with my interaction with my husband. I get incredibly frustrated when I feel like he should be doing something (either for me or instead of me). I realize that my children see this and take on these characteristics. I have to remind myself that my husband is his own person, not an extension of me, and if I am able to do something myself, and don't truely need help with it, I need to do it myself. I also find that the less I bug him about these things, the more he offers to help! I am learning the value of not squeaking right along with my children! <abbr><em>Tasha’s last blog post..<a href="http://leavingatrailinthemud.blogspot.com/2009/03/just-bit-of-information.html" rel="nofollow">just a bit of information</a></abbr></em> If I were to be perfectly honest, I would say that my trigger usually has to do with my interaction with my husband. I get incredibly frustrated when I feel like he should be doing something (either for me or instead of me). I realize that my children see this and take on these characteristics. I have to remind myself that my husband is his own person, not an extension of me, and if I am able to do something myself, and don’t truely need help with it, I need to do it myself. I also find that the less I bug him about these things, the more he offers to help! I am learning the value of not squeaking right along with my children!

Tasha’s last blog post..just a bit of information

]]> By: Joan http://simplekids.net/the-squeaky-wheel/comment-page-1/#comment-41 Joan Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:03:25 +0000 http://simplekids.net/?p=180#comment-41 Yes, the "head thump" that Dad mentions... me & it go WAY back. :) Yes, the “head thump” that Dad mentions… me & it go WAY back. :)

]]> By: Dad http://simplekids.net/the-squeaky-wheel/comment-page-1/#comment-40 Dad Mon, 26 Jan 2009 17:41:01 +0000 http://simplekids.net/?p=180#comment-40 Try to make the distinction in your kid's actions between when they have disobeyed or have done something that is actually wrong and when it is just a mistake on their part, (i.e breaking a dish, spilling milk). When I actually did something that I knew to be wrong, my father was swift with butt-kick or head thump.....literally....but when I made an error in judgement, he was gentle and never chastised.....this is how your child learns that something really is wrong with their actions. If we as parents react the same to a mistake as a deliberate act, children will take advantage of this and do not grow between the ears. Try to make the distinction in your kid’s actions between when they have disobeyed or have done something that is actually wrong and when it is just a mistake on their part, (i.e breaking a dish, spilling milk).
When I actually did something that I knew to be wrong, my father was swift with butt-kick or head thump…..literally….but when I made an error in judgement, he was gentle and never chastised…..this is how your child learns that something really is wrong with their actions. If we as parents react the same to a mistake as a deliberate act, children will take advantage of this and do not grow between the ears.

]]> By: Brittany http://simplekids.net/the-squeaky-wheel/comment-page-1/#comment-39 Brittany Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:37:10 +0000 http://simplekids.net/?p=180#comment-39 I find that I have a hard time keeping my cool (and turn into Shouting Mama) when we're running late and the kids are dragging their feet. I've done a couple of things to try to avoid this - the first is that I try to have the things we'll need in the morning for school/our outing/whatever ready the night before (kids pick out clothes, I have snack or lunch ready to be packed, the library books are in a bag and ready to go, etc.). I also have tried to make the management of all of our "stuff" more kid friendly - the coats are hanging on low hooks on the back of the coat closet door so that that kids can get down, put on, and eventually put away their own coats all on their own. Ditto for hats and gloves that are stored in each-kid-has-his/her-own cubby in the closet. When we still end up running late, I take a deep breath, remind myself that being late isn't life or death, and just try to keep it in perspective. After all, I tend to run late even when I'm not taking the kids with me and they are kids - it is MY responsibility to get them out the door and if we're running late, then I haven't left enough time or haven't been prepared enough to make it happen. I find that I have a hard time keeping my cool (and turn into Shouting Mama) when we’re running late and the kids are dragging their feet. I’ve done a couple of things to try to avoid this – the first is that I try to have the things we’ll need in the morning for school/our outing/whatever ready the night before (kids pick out clothes, I have snack or lunch ready to be packed, the library books are in a bag and ready to go, etc.). I also have tried to make the management of all of our “stuff” more kid friendly – the coats are hanging on low hooks on the back of the coat closet door so that that kids can get down, put on, and eventually put away their own coats all on their own. Ditto for hats and gloves that are stored in each-kid-has-his/her-own cubby in the closet. When we still end up running late, I take a deep breath, remind myself that being late isn’t life or death, and just try to keep it in perspective. After all, I tend to run late even when I’m not taking the kids with me and they are kids – it is MY responsibility to get them out the door and if we’re running late, then I haven’t left enough time or haven’t been prepared enough to make it happen.

]]> By: Joan http://simplekids.net/the-squeaky-wheel/comment-page-1/#comment-38 Joan Mon, 26 Jan 2009 15:12:30 +0000 http://simplekids.net/?p=180#comment-38 @Sara: I find my fuse getting short after the... 7th time I say something. It's like you're being deliberately disrespected. Then again, I feel better when I approach it with more wit than volume. I'm working on it. :) @LaToya: Fatigue is a huge factor. Just when you think it's about bedtime and you're in the clear for the day, you step on the Legos that were supposed to be put away hours ago-- or you trip over a Barbie that appears to be everywhere at once. I know. I try to chug water when I feel like I'm about to lose it; I read it helps fight the tired feeling very quickly. Whether it's true or not, it works for me as a placebo! @ZooDoc: Welcome! So good to see you on this side of the web. Thanks for your insight... I still have so much to learn that more seasoned experience is incredibly appreciated. @Shawn: My kids still like each other, but we have the occasional "HE HIT ME!!" It's a big one, and we have come to put the perpetrator on the spot by making them vocalize how they would feel if they had been... whatever-ed by the other. When you're getting close to boiling point, though, this approach seems pretty difficult. @Sara: I find my fuse getting short after the… 7th time I say something. It’s like you’re being deliberately disrespected. Then again, I feel better when I approach it with more wit than volume. I’m working on it. :)

@LaToya: Fatigue is a huge factor. Just when you think it’s about bedtime and you’re in the clear for the day, you step on the Legos that were supposed to be put away hours ago– or you trip over a Barbie that appears to be everywhere at once. I know. I try to chug water when I feel like I’m about to lose it; I read it helps fight the tired feeling very quickly. Whether it’s true or not, it works for me as a placebo!

@ZooDoc: Welcome! So good to see you on this side of the web. Thanks for your insight… I still have so much to learn that more seasoned experience is incredibly appreciated.

@Shawn: My kids still like each other, but we have the occasional “HE HIT ME!!” It’s a big one, and we have come to put the perpetrator on the spot by making them vocalize how they would feel if they had been… whatever-ed by the other. When you’re getting close to boiling point, though, this approach seems pretty difficult.

]]> By: Shawn/Lifeatbuttercup farm http://simplekids.net/the-squeaky-wheel/comment-page-1/#comment-37 Shawn/Lifeatbuttercup farm Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:59:58 +0000 http://simplekids.net/?p=180#comment-37 I find it hardest to keep my cool when my children fight with one another. I always feel terrible when I SQUAK at them for this. When I stop to think about the situation later, I quickly realize that I have done to them, exactly what makes me crazy about their behavior in that moment. When I have my have my "cool, calm, and collected mommyness groove" on...I send them to their rooms for 10 minutes to diffuse the situation, and then we talk about it before they carry on for the day. I am trying to teach them, if you act a certain way, you choose less "fun". I find it hardest to keep my cool when my children fight with one another. I always feel terrible when I SQUAK at them for this. When I stop to think about the situation later, I quickly realize that I have done to them, exactly what makes me crazy about their behavior in that moment.

When I have my have my “cool, calm, and collected mommyness groove” on…I send them to their rooms for 10 minutes to diffuse the situation, and then we talk about it before they carry on for the day. I am trying to teach them, if you act a certain way, you choose less “fun”.

]]> By: ZooDoc http://simplekids.net/the-squeaky-wheel/comment-page-1/#comment-36 ZooDoc Mon, 26 Jan 2009 04:35:21 +0000 http://simplekids.net/?p=180#comment-36 Hi Joan! Great 1.) 2.) 3.) reminders, and the I appreciate the (dismounting soapbox in 3…2…). I guess we're all "squeakers" from time-to-time. We don't like to be ignored when our needs aren't met, and this is especially true when we are still babies and young children. But then we get old enough to understand and usually realize that being annoying in our pursuit of satisfaction isn't always the best way to proceed. Unfortunately, babies can't follow the three reminders yet, as we all know who have been parents, but most are trainable. Meanwhile, the loving "patience of Job" is required of mature, caring parents and care providers. ZD Hi Joan! Great 1.) 2.) 3.) reminders, and the I appreciate the (dismounting soapbox in 3…2…). I guess we’re all “squeakers” from time-to-time. We don’t like to be ignored when our needs aren’t met, and this is especially true when we are still babies and young children. But then we get old enough to understand and usually realize that being annoying in our pursuit of satisfaction isn’t always the best way to proceed. Unfortunately, babies can’t follow the three reminders yet, as we all know who have been parents, but most are trainable. Meanwhile, the loving “patience of Job” is required of mature, caring parents and care providers. ZD

]]> By: LaToya http://simplekids.net/the-squeaky-wheel/comment-page-1/#comment-34 LaToya Mon, 26 Jan 2009 01:58:08 +0000 http://simplekids.net/?p=180#comment-34 I find it the hardest to keep my cool at the end of a long day. It seems like my temper just gets the best of me, especially when I've been up all night with my newborn, I'm trying to wrestle my 2.5 year old in bed and my (lazy) husband lays on the couch and goes to sleep. I take deep breaths, sit down with my boys and read a few stories. After a couple books and a few hugs and kisses I'm usually able to calm the beast. I find it the hardest to keep my cool at the end of a long day. It seems like my temper just gets the best of me, especially when I’ve been up all night with my newborn, I’m trying to wrestle my 2.5 year old in bed and my (lazy) husband lays on the couch and goes to sleep.

I take deep breaths, sit down with my boys and read a few stories. After a couple books and a few hugs and kisses I’m usually able to calm the beast.

]]> By: Sara*MamaGoesGreen* http://simplekids.net/the-squeaky-wheel/comment-page-1/#comment-33 Sara*MamaGoesGreen* Mon, 26 Jan 2009 00:22:25 +0000 http://simplekids.net/?p=180#comment-33 I find it the hardest to keep my cool when the kids don't listen the first time. Like after the 4th time saying, get your shoes on now! We have to LEAVE!! :) I call things like these my "meek and quiet spirit robbers". So, I've identified them, and have been working on one a week. So, like with the shoes....this was a real problem in our house! I decided that when I told my son to get on his shoes, I would stop what I was doing, and watch him get it done. Me standing there was a reminder of what I had said...seriously, boys forget in 1/2 a second what they've been told to do! And, it reinforced immediate obedience. After about 3 days, he did it very quickly, but I stuck with it for 3 more days to make it a habit. When I find myself going back to saying it more than once, we revisit this. It takes a bit of work, but seriously cuts stress out! Sorry for the novel:) We are actively working towards a peaceful home with mutual respect...this is one of our experiences! I find it the hardest to keep my cool when the kids don’t listen the first time. Like after the 4th time saying, get your shoes on now! We have to LEAVE!! :) I call things like these my “meek and quiet spirit robbers”. So, I’ve identified them, and have been working on one a week. So, like with the shoes….this was a real problem in our house! I decided that when I told my son to get on his shoes, I would stop what I was doing, and watch him get it done. Me standing there was a reminder of what I had said…seriously, boys forget in 1/2 a second what they’ve been told to do! And, it reinforced immediate obedience. After about 3 days, he did it very quickly, but I stuck with it for 3 more days to make it a habit. When I find myself going back to saying it more than once, we revisit this. It takes a bit of work, but seriously cuts stress out! Sorry for the novel:) We are actively working towards a peaceful home with mutual respect…this is one of our experiences!

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